need another drink. this is the easiest way
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize