I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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