remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize