I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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