Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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