So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize