he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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