Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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