we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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