My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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