Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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