he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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