do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize