i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Randomize