dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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