You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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