Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
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We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
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Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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