apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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