I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize