Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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