No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
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i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
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my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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