If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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