its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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