well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize