I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
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Your cock deserves a montage
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
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I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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