you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize