And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize