My nipple is on Facebook.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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