Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize