idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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