I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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