4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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