How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize