you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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