I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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