in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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