My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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