Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
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