She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize