is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
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And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
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i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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