Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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