Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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