he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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