mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize