I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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