I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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