his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
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She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
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I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
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