So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
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He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
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Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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