Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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