My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
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she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
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You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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